


Back Down We Go

by Molly_Hats



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Finn has OCD, Gen, Mutual hurt-comfort, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Rey has OCD, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 18:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13487550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molly_Hats/pseuds/Molly_Hats
Summary: Rey worries about the Dark Side.  Finn worries too.  They're irrational fears, of course, but that doesn't make them any less powerful.





	Back Down We Go

**Author's Note:**

> Written before Episode VIII, so canon divergent

He finds her after training one morning, sitting on one of the hills. She stares off into the space above the ships, staff by her side. He walks up to her and sits beside her.

“You okay?” he asks quietly. “You haven’t been at training, Luke said.”

She turns her head to him, her eyes squinted in the sun, and doesn’t speak for a long time. Finally, she says, “No.”

“What’s wrong?” Finn asks, feeling clunky and awkward and completely out of his depth, plunged over the edge in the span of an instant.

“Finn, what if I--what if I go Dark Side?” Rey asks, her voice wavering as it struggles through the sentence. 

“Rey, you won’t. You’re the best person I know,” Finn says earnestly. “You turning Dark Side would be like...like Luke turning Dark Side. It won’t happen.”

Rey smiles, small and quick, before continuing. “But what if...it’s always haunting me, Finn. I can’t get away from it, the images. I could’ve killed Kylo Ren, I wanted to, but that’s not even...When I’m with Master Luke, I’ll be holding or swinging a lightsaber and out of nowhere I’ll think, I could cut him down. What if I did? What if it’s the Dark Side and someday I’ll just...snap and start killing everyone around me and...it sounds stupid.”

Finn freezes, desperately trying to think of something, anything, but it’s back, flooding in. FN-2187 pops into his mind, horrible and laced with a million memories, and he’s thinking it away, focusing on the words, they’re reassuring, nice. _I’m Finn, I’m not a stormtrooper, I’m resistance, I’m never going back. I’m Finn, I’m not a stormtrooper, I’m resistance, I’m never going back. I’m Finn…_

“Finn?” And now she’s looking at him with concern. 

“Yeah?” Finn says.

“Are you--”

“You’ll be the best Jedi ever, Rey. I believe in you.”

“Thanks, Finn,” Rey says, turning away again. 

They stare into the distance, over the rolling green hills and the pilots on practice runs coming and going, both lost in their own minds. Rey plants her hand firmly in the grass, as if afraid it would grab her lightsaber and launch into a massacre of its own accord. 

_I’m Finn, I’m not a stormtrooper, I’m resistance, I’m never going back. I’m Finn, I’m not a stormtrooper, I’m resistance, I’m never going back. I’m Finn, I’m not a stormtrooper..._

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is. My first fic on AO3. As Bella knows, its kinda predictable that its about OCD.


End file.
